Place for useless thoughts, short and long.

I've always been environmental, but over the past few months, I've gotten way more extreme, to the point most would consider it insane. I feel really bad about throwing anything compostible into a trash bag, so I've started to take even literal strands of hair and toss them outside into the grass, instead of throwing them away. I know it's not even a drop in the bucket—it's a molecule of a drop in the bucket— but it feels so horrible to contribute to more waste, no matter how small.

I don't care if huge corporations are doing the bulk of the harm; that doesn't make me feel better about contributing; that makes me feel worse, because the problem is worse.

Even burning things contributes to pollution, and while a lot of burning is natural, that doesn't make it right to make it worse. I'm not the one making fires, though, so I'm not going to tell people to stop.

I've been ripping up a lot of paper to compost instead now, since that should be environmentally friendly, at least.

I do eat/use plenty of things that are wrapped in plastic, but that's basically inevitable. Straws still hurt me every time I have one forced upon me. I never use them, instead taking them home to use as cat toys, or putting them away for someone else to use. I really wish giving out straws wasn't the norm and more restaurants simply asked if one wanted one.

I think the whole AI boom has been what's ramped up my environmental depression, knowing just how bad it is. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now. Pollution has been bad for ages, but at least there were some advancements in clean energy, but now with AI, who even cares. We're just falling backwards into more pollution, despite those clean energies.

It's so sad.

I can't believe lobotomies were a thing as close as the 1950s. That's post-WWII. People are still alive today who were around when lobotomies were supported. That's crazy. I wonder how many terrible things we do today that are actually super detrimental...

It was a very windy day, and the power went out around 9 PM for about three minutes. Now it's midnight, and thet power went out again. It's probably been out for ten minutes this time, but everyone else is asleep. The battery backups were beeping every few seconds, but now one is beeping nonstop. Beep beep beep beep beep beep. I do not know what I'm supposed to do. Normally, my family turns off the backups, but looking online (I still have internet due to the backup), it seems one is not supposed to do that? I don't know. I just worry that I'd hit the wrong button or something and mess everything up.

12:49: It stopped. ...And then beep beep beep beeped for two seconds, then stopped. I guess it's dying. And back, and gone. 12:50 now. I should brush my teeth, and MAYBE try to go to bed.

Yesterday, I typoed 2025 as 2015, and whenever I do that, I tend to think "Wow, it feels like it could be that year; it doesn't seem that long ago." It's crazy, because 2015 was around 12% of my life ago, and that's if I live to 80-something. And what percentage were those years of my current life? Almost 33% of it! Infathomable. I've been thinking in "percentages of life" a lot lately. Life is so short, and I'm already over a third done with mine. It's a scary thought.